AMAs = WOT (Waste of Time)

Let's get one thing straight: I did NOT watch the American Music Awards. I never have (at least I have no specific recollection of ever watching it) and never will. But, while in the midst of stuffing my face with an extra-tasty chicken and guacamole wrap during the 6-minute part of my day I call lunch, I did stumble upon a very amusing blog post (on Y! Music) by someone who, albeit unfortunately, did watch the "award {cough} show."

So, this is what I learned:

-The Pussycat Dolls are lucky-as-hell, vomit-inducing fakes who can't even lip-sync properly;
-Rhianna wore an eye-patch yet does not suffer from any apparent ophthalmologic disorder...oh, and she can't sing;
-The Jonas Brothers collectively know 3 guitar chords;
-Miley Cyrus embarrassed herself...again;
-Beyonce has been doing the same two-bit dance routine for the past decade;
-Watching Mariah Carey and taking an Ambien have the same effect;
-David Cook has freakishly tweezed eyebrows;
-The collaboration between Alicia Keys, Queen Latifah and Kathleen Battle was an "all-over-the-place-trainwreck" (quoting the author);
-The New Kids On The Block performed?!? Can someone please explain this?!? I think I missed the memo...;
-Kanye sucks;
-Coldplay came off as forced and their outfits screamed, "trying to hard;" and
-Annie Lennox stole the show -- big surprise considering she was probably the only person within 4 miles of the venue with any talent.

Now time to hit the bathroom...