Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Worst song, EVER!

We've all been there. You're cruising down the highway, windows down, listening to your favorite classic rock station (or these days, XM or Sirius), you've just heard "Layla," "Whipping Post," "The Weight" (shameless plug) and "American Girl," when all of the sudden, you can't change the channel fast enough before "Crocodile Rock" causes your ears to start bleeding. What a buzz kill!

Sadly (yet interestingly), on my list of the "10 Most Annoying Songs By Some Of My Favorite Artists," a whopping three belong to Sir Elton John -- and I'm still not sure why. They just ruin my day when I hear them. Don't get me wrong, anyone that knows me knows that I have TREMENDOUS respect not just for Mr. Dwight, but for each of these artists/bands. Indeed, most of them wrote some of the greatest rock songs of all time. Nonetheless, I can't help myself but ask, what the fuck were they thinking when they wrote these:

10) "Whole Lotta Love" - Led Zeppelin
Maybe I'm alone on this one, but despite being a die-hard Zeppelin fan, the song is way too repetitive for 5:00+ and despite being novel at the time, I'm still not impressed by Jimmy's experimental guitar sounds in the mid-section of a "blues song" while Plant is having an orgasm in the background.

9) "Old Time Rock and Roll" - Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band
Too many Bar Mitzvahs and weddings ruined this one.

8) "Gimme Three Steps" - Lynyrd Skynyrd
Maybe you have to be from the deep south and have the ability to consume large amounts of whiskey to understand this enigma.

7) "The Joker" - Steve Miller Band
Can you say sleepaway camp and slumber parties?

6) "Bennie and the Jets" - Elton John
{Vomit!}

5) "You Shook Me All Night Long" - AC/DC
It's a shame that the bad boys from down under will go down with this song as their legacy -- thanks to decades of spring-breakers and frat boys.

4) "Saturday Night's Alright (For Fighting)" - Elton John
It's not even a song. It's more like shouting the most annoying chorus of all time, over and over and over again. No one really likes this song, do they?

3) "Love in an Elevator" - Aerosmith
After the genius of Toys in the Attic and before the surprisingly catchy Alicia Silverstone era, there was this debacle. Not only is the video a nauseating hodgepodge of cheesy acting, leather vests, dancing dwarfs and blatant sexual innuendo, but the lyrics are, for lack of better words, DUMB.

2) "Lovin' Touchin' Squeezin'" - Journey
I get VERY, VERY, VERY uncomfortable when I hear this song. I've already said too much about it...

and weighing in at #1, none other than,

"Crocodile Rock" - Elton John
No words can really express how I feel about this song except that if I've made it past the first half second of this over-indulgent, corny, irritating, mawkish piece of garbage, I deserve to lose any shred of credibility I once had amongst my peers in the music community...and so do you!!!

Did I miss any?

6 comments:

WeightStaff said...

Hmm...I digging the list. Pretty damn accurate as far as I'm concerned. I would add anything by Meat Loaf. And I hate to say it, but for some reason whenever Queen is blasting from my coworker's stereo, I get that familiar sensation of wanting to shove q-tips in my ear until they bleed like the guy from that Tales From The Crypt episode.


Ryan

rockandrollguru said...

As much as I love Zeppelin, I've gotta agree with you on Whole Lotta Love...and that's not something I've publicly admitted before.

partyinpeepsblog@gmail.com said...

Funny. These are the only Elton John songs that don't cause me to immediately switch the station.

Your song, italian restaurant, and someone saved my life tonight, on the other hand, they kill me!

Andrew said...

Disagree on the Elton... maybe Crocodile Rock can stay on there... B, B, B, Bennie and the Jetsssssssssssssssss.... Songs like Love in an Elevator can be bad and good at the same time...

Anonymous said...

So I found your blog because I googled, "'the weight' is the most irritating song ever!" Take a load off annie, and put it right on me? I don't know... I just don't like the sound of people talking about putting loads on other people. Weird.

Frank Collins said...

You might have forgot 'I can't get no satisfaction'!