J.D. Drewapalooza

I'm not a huge baseball fan. Haven't been since back in the mid-90's when the Orioles were still relevant. But I am a huge fan of Bill Simmons, the self-titled 'Sports Guy' at ESPN.com who manages to make me laugh more than most comedians with his insight, quick wit, and inane pop culture references in regards to sporting events.

What I do know about J.D. Drew is that Boston gave him a massive contract, which was pretty speculative at the time. And since then, he has done nothing to support his payday except NOT make anything good happen at the plate. That is until his monumental grand slam in the ALCS which appears to have been the tipping point in regards to the Red Sox winning the pennant. Here are some of the comments Bill's readers sent to him regarding J.D. and their astonishment that he may have just earned his paycheck with one swing:

Matt from Boston: Only the third grand slam in Red Sox postseason history -- and it's by J.D. Drew. I'm ecstatic and furious at the same time. It's like a deadbeat dad mailing it in for his kid's entire childhood, only to show up at his high school graduation with a Ferrari. All i want to do is drive it into a wall just to spite him. But, man, what a car.

Sam P. from Stateline, Nev.: I will never be more surprised than I was when J.D. hit that grand slam. If Reese Witherspoon released a porn video with Julia Stiles and the Quaker Oats guy, I would not be more surprised than I was when J.D. Drew got that hit. Maybe Michael Moore will break the marathon record ... and I will be half as surprised as I was when J.D. went deep.

Mark I. from Los Angeles: Ponder this: As of one hour ago, no matter what either man does for the rest of his career or what they've done previously, J.D. Drew is now and forever more beloved in Boston than A-Rod will ever be in any city. Congratulations to Theo on the genius free-agent pickup. Dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria.

Matt R. in Washington: Shocked does not even begin to describe how I felt as I saw J.D. Drew's grand slam clear the center-field wall. I've been trying to come up with a proper metaphor for the past couple hours to describe this feeling, and this is the best I can do: imagine having a son who's a complete underachiever -- gets straight C's and D's, never seems to give a crap, spends a lot of time in his room alone – and after a while you resign yourself to the idea that he's going to end up mopping floors somewhere instead of heading off to college like you know he could and should. Then one day, a letter arrives from the college board that says he got a 1,600 on his SATs. And all at once you're stunned, overjoyed, and maybe just a little bit annoyed that he hadn't been living up to his potential all along – but for the moment, you're willing to forgive him because you're so happy. That's pretty much how I feel right now.

It looks like Bill's readers are pretty much just like him. The full post from 'The Sports Guy' is here.

Check out Bill Simmon's Wikipedia article. Great reading and the lists 2/3s down are hilarious.